When Feedback Hurts, It’s Working

Seen + Named

Feedback usually disrupts our workflow in ways that feel harsh and destabilizing. And yet, the critiques that hurt the most are often the ones that strengthen us. They expose our missteps and misstatements, but also point us toward deeper growth.

Last week, we focused on delivering feedback as a gift to others. This week, we turn to the feedback we receive. Painful though it may be, it can serve as a compass, nudging us back onto the path, even when we thought we were already steadily on it.

Anchoring Script (print this):

“Feedback may sting, but it can be good for me. It surfaces where I’ve stumbled, and at the same time, shows me the path toward deeper growth. It’s not about staying silent. It’s about showing others that I can carry feedback with grace and go forward, committed to improving.”

Insight + Shift

The sting of student evaluations. The furrowed brows in an exec audience. These moments land hard. My first instinct is often to duck and cover.

Fortunately, I am not left to carry them alone. My husband, my parents, my closest friends, and colleagues who refuse to falsly flatter remind me that criticism isn’t the end of my work. When I can’t see its value, they help me use it as motivation or a push to teach better, write sharper, edit longer.

I’ve seen the same discipline in leaders I have been doing work with in healthcare. They absorbed hard feedback, kept their teams focused, and turned disruption into renewal. By facing feedback directly, they created the stability their organizations needed to keep moving forward.

Tool + Practice